nTersect

Posted: 07 Jun 2010 05:38 PM PDT

(Last week at Computex in Taipei, gamers were invited to NVIDIA's massive black and green tent to play the Taiwan national gaming champion. They battled using NVIDIA's 3D Vision technology, with the contest projected in 3D on a huge screen for hundreds to see. The following is a recounting of my experience when, after the event, I was invited to challenge the Champ.)

I played the Champ.

I told him this was his last chance to quit before facing total humiliation at my hands. I told him I had nothing to lose, while he had everything to lose. Out of respect for him, I would prevent any potential embarrassment to him, by allowing him to quit now.

He said he would risk it and play me.

The action started. I got some hits in, and the mildest amount of hope sprang forth in my mind. The hope died roughly 1.4 seconds later when the Champ did a combo move which roughly created a sun, which he strategically dropped on my head. The audience screamed with delight, enjoying the sight of my character's body in flames, shooting back and forth across the screen like a piece of flaming Kleenex. I told him this was his last chance to quit. Then he nuked me and beat up my ashes for good measure. So I told him I was going to open my eyes for the next round. Then he got serious and did this move where I think I blew up from the groin outwards.

I had one round where I randomly slapped every button I could find and somehow ended up even with him. Then he pulled another one of these combo moves where he kicked my face like 7000 times in one second. The game not only gave me the loss but told me it was marking me down as a loss for the next 14 games I would play to compensate for this ass-kicking which the game couldn't legitimately count as just one loss.

I told the Champ the only reason I was letting him taking me apart at a molecular level was that he was NVIDIA's guest and I would feel bad beating him. He smiled and thanked me for my graciousness.

I told him he was very welcome.

Editor's Note: We're starting a new series of posts called Inner Geek, in which NVIDIA's own talk about their infatuation with technology.